So my past few posts have been rants. Sorry about that. I've also had hiatuses between them, so apparantly blogging keeps me sane now.
I'm writing this on my cell phone, so this will most likely have an abundance of gramatical and spelling errors. Hopefully not many gramatical ones, though. I like grammar.
I failed at NaNoWriMo. I was all gung-ho and excited for it, and then the second week hit, and.... Epic fail. Sukyness. I'm going to try to finish it during December, though, and I'll most likely post an exerpt from it here. NaNo was good for me, though. It rekindled my love of writing fiction, and it gave me new ideas for stories, many of whitch I incorperated into my story, and I'll probably continue with some of them after I finish my current one.

Sometimes I just need to rant. [If you know me in real life, don't read this.]

Disclaimer: Sorry for the swearing.  I was mad. And there aren't any other words that fit what I mean.


I am so mad right now.

I feel like everything is fucking my fault in this family and I'm sick of it. Honestly, I'm just sick of my family. I am SOOOO ready to just be out of this stupid little town in the god damned suburbs and be at college in the city.  I hate it.  I'm always the one that gets made fun of, teased, the butt of every frickin' joke, and when I tried to retaliate I get yelled at.  Really? It's like everyone else's feelings are considered except my own.  Who cares if my feelings are hurt? It's just fun to make fun of me!!

And everything we do is planned around weather or not I do my chores well enough. I want to hang out with Yearin who's visiting from college? I have to clean my room otherwise I can't. The entire family wants to decorate for christmas? Ok, but Faith has to sweep first.  So we can't decorate for christmas because I didn't sweep or clean the fucking bathroom.

UGH!!! I am so fucking sick of my family!!! I'll just go back to russia next summer, because Lena is obviously the perfect daughter, and I'm not good enough.  My parents would obviously have Lena as their daughter instead of me.

Yea, dad actually said I could go to Russia instead of Lena because Lena's mom did such a good job of raising her.  And it was all because I want my ears pierced again and Lena doesn't like piercings.

Speaking of which, Why the HELL did Miley Cyrus get her nose pierced?

Life in All Caps.

Life is a roller coaster.   I've been having ups and downs lately.

Up- School is going OK. I have good grades, I'm getting bored in English (I want to switch to AP), and I actually slightly understand Chemistry.

Down- My dad is annoying me.  I'm not a big fan of parentals right now.  Apparantly, I'm going to lose my job because I haven't turned my work permit into the school district yet. I'M SORRY I TRY TO RELAX AND BE A TEENAGER ONCE IN A WHILE! I'M SORRY I'M NOT CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT RESPONSIBLILITYS! SORRY FOR NOT BEING ONE GIANT FUCKING BUNDLE OF STRESS!!! Sorry for venting. But that really felt good.
!
Up- I went to King of Prussia mall last week with Lily, Lena, and Mom! It was so much fun! And Hot Topic is now my friend with benefits! (It's their reward points program thing.  I like it.  I got 15% discount.)

Down- School is a giant bundle of sucky stressfulness.  I HATE THE GUYS IN MY CLASS!!!! THEY ARE SO STUPID! They never pay attention in class and  then wonder why they don't understand what's going on.  They lie and make excuses to try to put of tests and crap and to do as little work as possible. And then they wonder why they get bad grades.  I HATE THEM. I WANT TO STRANGLE THEM AND KILL THEM AND CASTRATE THEM AND KILL MYSELF.

And to top it off, my parents are arguing, dad is never pleased with my best, I'm never doing good enough! I feel like I'm being held to a standard that I can't reach and being punished for not reaching it! Why can't people just accept that maybe I'm not as smart as they think I am? I'm 12th in my class, for crying out loud. I'M AVERAGE. I'M SORRY I'M NOT A FREAKING GENIOUS! I'M SORRY I DON'T TAKE MATH CLASSES FOR FUN! SORRY FOR BEING A MUSICIAN!

gj aehi y8nug raeo[imiyraewodsoau gfiaso[fmijdaso[ jiaewom jifo! I hate life right now. Why can't Christ come back already?  I just want to grow up and get out of here.  And I want to get my frikkin lisense!

And Lily is going through some hard times, and it hurts me to see my best friend going up and down like a see saw. It makes me feel depressed. (If that's the right adjective.)

I just need to scream and fast and be alone with hot chocolate, God, and screamo music.

And I'm majorly jealous of Becoming the Archetype's pianist. WHY IS HE SO TALENTED?!
But yea, I'm pretty much obsessed with BTA right now.  And my friend Luke has talked to Seth from BTA a few times. It's awesome. (Luke is practically a BTA fanboy. It's hilarious.)

But yes, if you like metal, BTA is awesome. They're all classically trained musicians, and in a metal band. IT'S AMAZINGNESS! And they're so blatant about their faith- I love it! They're not ashamed to be Christians.  Their cover of How Great Thou Art is awesome, as well as Self Existant.

I Use CAPS too Much and NaNoWriMo on All Hallow's Eve.

Good evening, everyone.

It is currently 10:30 PM and in an hour and a half, I will be writing furiously along with many other people in the world as a part of NaNoWriMo.  So I figured I should update before November starts. 

Wait... you don't know about NaNo?  Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellll, basically, you go insane for a month and attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in the course of a month.  It's fun and I highly recomend it.  Well, I think it's fun.  This is technically my second year, but last year I failed epicaly with a total of 67 words.  BUT I SHALL WIN THIS TIME BECAUSE I AM A STRONG AND POWERFULL WOMAN.

My story is about a girl in rehab for anorexia. She falls in love with the kid she HATED in elementary school, but she has a boyfriend who is planning proposing to her when she finishes with rehab.  HOWEVER, he cheats on her.

It's very cliched but that should make it easier to write.  I REALLY hate cliches though. REALLY.  I'm surprised I liked Twilight for so long, honestly.  I think it's because it's written in a way that makes you fall in love with Edward along with Bella. 

Anyway, today is halloween.  I'm too old to Trick or Treating, unfortunately.  I really like Trick or Treating. Sadness.  Lena and I went on a walk while the youngins were out collecting candy.  It made me so nostalgic... GOSH I sound old!

Then we came home and dad took us to the grocery store to buy discounted halloween candy.  We got snickers, Peeps, and candy corn.  I love peeps.  We also watched the Corpse Bride which is epically awesome +50.

Tim Burton + Johnny Depp + Helena Bonham Carter = Epically Awesome.

+50 awesome points (which is a lot of awesome points) for it being a musical.

I watched Edward Scissorhands today for the first time.  It was so sad!

Lily is doing NaNoWriMo as well, and I think we're having a race, but I'm not sure... I hope not, because Lily is an amazing writer, and I have a tendency to exctreme writers block.  That's how I failed last year.

I need to go finish outlining at least the first few chapters and probably come up with a character sketch for the main characters... And research sociopathy. The male main character is a sociopath in rehab for suicide, so I should figure out how he's suposed act.  I suppose he'll tell me sometime, though... Anyway, only one hour and 10 minutes left! EEEEEP I'm so excited!!! I think this is proof of my saninty.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! And happy Nanoing to anyone doing it out there!

Faith.

Forrest Gump was wrong. Life isn't like a box of chololates; it's like a standardized exam. People expect you to know everything about something you know nothing about, yet when it comes to something simple, such as writing your name, you are treated like an idiot who knows nothing.

PSATs were today, thus the inspiration for this post.

He paints the morning sky with miracles in mind.

So um.. apparently some of my friends read my blog...  Hi guys!

This weekend was fun and full of philosophical thoughts.  (Sort of...)

We went to Inner Harbor in Baltimore and toured the USS Constitution and the USS Torsk. 

On the way home we saw the most AMAZING sunset I have ever seen.  And it got me thinking...


You know who the most amazing artist in the world is?  It's not Van Gogh, Monet, or Degas. It's God.  There's a song that I LOVE that I thought of on the drive home... "You paint the morning sky/ with miracles in mind." It's so true- God paints the sky, and when you see it you can't help but think of miracles.  In fact, it's a miracle that we're even here!  How can someone look at a sunset and think that this is all an accident?  I really don't get it.

Anyway.

Today was youth Sunday at my church, so I had to play my flute and sing.  Then I went to my friend Michelle's birthday party. It was fun! Other than that nothing much else happened this weekend...

How was your weekend?

I'm going home, to a place where I belong.

Junior year sucks.

Just sayin'.

But really, there's so much work! And then there's PSATs, SATs, College, AP classes, UGH!  The first week of school people were asking me where I wanted to go to college.

But before I start to complain more, homecoming was last year! My school was sacriligious this year and had...

DANCING!!! Oh em gee.

It was actually fun this year, unlike last year, which was kinda lame.

So this is basically a random post.  I did have a point, but I forgot...

RIGHT! So homecoming had a lot of rap.  For those of you who don't know, I listen to metal.  I DO NOT LIKE RAP.  Lily, a Sophmore named Taylor, and I requested a bunch of AWESOME songs that never got played.  Sucky.  We requested:

Reptar, King of the Ozone by The Devil Wears Prada, I'm So Sick, Cassie, and Red Sam by Flyleaf, Taylor requested an Underoath song, but I dont know which one.  We also requested We Will Rock You by Queen which did get played.

I think it's time for some Queen.



Funny story: (At least to me) 
The DJ played Soulja boy.  As soon as Lily and I heard "OOOOH! Soulja boy... "  We screamed an ran out of the room and stayed in the bathroom for the remainder of the song.  When we came back, they were playing Metallica! It was pretty awesome.  Then they played Shake It.  I love that song.

Anyway... That was my weekend...