Monday, November 30, 2009

So my past few posts have been rants. Sorry about that. I've also had hiatuses between them, so apparantly blogging keeps me sane now.
I'm writing this on my cell phone, so this will most likely have an abundance of gramatical and spelling errors. Hopefully not many gramatical ones, though. I like grammar.
I failed at NaNoWriMo. I was all gung-ho and excited for it, and then the second week hit, and.... Epic fail. Sukyness. I'm going to try to finish it during December, though, and I'll most likely post an exerpt from it here. NaNo was good for me, though. It rekindled my love of writing fiction, and it gave me new ideas for stories, many of whitch I incorperated into my story, and I'll probably continue with some of them after I finish my current one.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Sometimes I just need to rant. [If you know me in real life, don't read this.]

Disclaimer: Sorry for the swearing.  I was mad. And there aren't any other words that fit what I mean.

I am so mad right now.

I feel like everything is fucking my fault in this family and I'm sick of it. Honestly, I'm just sick of my family. I am SOOOO ready to just be out of this stupid little town in the god damned suburbs and be at college in the city.  I hate it.  I'm always the one that gets made fun of, teased, the butt of every frickin' joke, and when I tried to retaliate I get yelled at.  Really? It's like everyone else's feelings are considered except my own.  Who cares if my feelings are hurt? It's just fun to make fun of me!!

And everything we do is planned around weather or not I do my chores well enough. I want to hang out with Yearin who's visiting from college? I have to clean my room otherwise I can't. The entire family wants to decorate for christmas? Ok, but Faith has to sweep first.  So we can't decorate for christmas because I didn't sweep or clean the fucking bathroom.

UGH!!! I am so fucking sick of my family!!! I'll just go back to russia next summer, because Lena is obviously the perfect daughter, and I'm not good enough.  My parents would obviously have Lena as their daughter instead of me.

Yea, dad actually said I could go to Russia instead of Lena because Lena's mom did such a good job of raising her.  And it was all because I want my ears pierced again and Lena doesn't like piercings.

Speaking of which, Why the HELL did Miley Cyrus get her nose pierced?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Life in All Caps.

Life is a roller coaster.   I've been having ups and downs lately.

Up- School is going OK. I have good grades, I'm getting bored in English (I want to switch to AP), and I actually slightly understand Chemistry.

Down- My dad is annoying me.  I'm not a big fan of parentals right now.  Apparantly, I'm going to lose my job because I haven't turned my work permit into the school district yet. I'M SORRY I TRY TO RELAX AND BE A TEENAGER ONCE IN A WHILE! I'M SORRY I'M NOT CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT RESPONSIBLILITYS! SORRY FOR NOT BEING ONE GIANT FUCKING BUNDLE OF STRESS!!! Sorry for venting. But that really felt good.
Up- I went to King of Prussia mall last week with Lily, Lena, and Mom! It was so much fun! And Hot Topic is now my friend with benefits! (It's their reward points program thing.  I like it.  I got 15% discount.)

Down- School is a giant bundle of sucky stressfulness.  I HATE THE GUYS IN MY CLASS!!!! THEY ARE SO STUPID! They never pay attention in class and  then wonder why they don't understand what's going on.  They lie and make excuses to try to put of tests and crap and to do as little work as possible. And then they wonder why they get bad grades.  I HATE THEM. I WANT TO STRANGLE THEM AND KILL THEM AND CASTRATE THEM AND KILL MYSELF.

And to top it off, my parents are arguing, dad is never pleased with my best, I'm never doing good enough! I feel like I'm being held to a standard that I can't reach and being punished for not reaching it! Why can't people just accept that maybe I'm not as smart as they think I am? I'm 12th in my class, for crying out loud. I'M AVERAGE. I'M SORRY I'M NOT A FREAKING GENIOUS! I'M SORRY I DON'T TAKE MATH CLASSES FOR FUN! SORRY FOR BEING A MUSICIAN!

gj aehi y8nug raeo[imiyraewodsoau gfiaso[fmijdaso[ jiaewom jifo! I hate life right now. Why can't Christ come back already?  I just want to grow up and get out of here.  And I want to get my frikkin lisense!

And Lily is going through some hard times, and it hurts me to see my best friend going up and down like a see saw. It makes me feel depressed. (If that's the right adjective.)

I just need to scream and fast and be alone with hot chocolate, God, and screamo music.

And I'm majorly jealous of Becoming the Archetype's pianist. WHY IS HE SO TALENTED?!
But yea, I'm pretty much obsessed with BTA right now.  And my friend Luke has talked to Seth from BTA a few times. It's awesome. (Luke is practically a BTA fanboy. It's hilarious.)

But yes, if you like metal, BTA is awesome. They're all classically trained musicians, and in a metal band. IT'S AMAZINGNESS! And they're so blatant about their faith- I love it! They're not ashamed to be Christians.  Their cover of How Great Thou Art is awesome, as well as Self Existant.