I Use CAPS too Much and NaNoWriMo on All Hallow's Eve.

Good evening, everyone.

It is currently 10:30 PM and in an hour and a half, I will be writing furiously along with many other people in the world as a part of NaNoWriMo.  So I figured I should update before November starts. 

Wait... you don't know about NaNo?  Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellll, basically, you go insane for a month and attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in the course of a month.  It's fun and I highly recomend it.  Well, I think it's fun.  This is technically my second year, but last year I failed epicaly with a total of 67 words.  BUT I SHALL WIN THIS TIME BECAUSE I AM A STRONG AND POWERFULL WOMAN.

My story is about a girl in rehab for anorexia. She falls in love with the kid she HATED in elementary school, but she has a boyfriend who is planning proposing to her when she finishes with rehab.  HOWEVER, he cheats on her.

It's very cliched but that should make it easier to write.  I REALLY hate cliches though. REALLY.  I'm surprised I liked Twilight for so long, honestly.  I think it's because it's written in a way that makes you fall in love with Edward along with Bella. 

Anyway, today is halloween.  I'm too old to Trick or Treating, unfortunately.  I really like Trick or Treating. Sadness.  Lena and I went on a walk while the youngins were out collecting candy.  It made me so nostalgic... GOSH I sound old!

Then we came home and dad took us to the grocery store to buy discounted halloween candy.  We got snickers, Peeps, and candy corn.  I love peeps.  We also watched the Corpse Bride which is epically awesome +50.

Tim Burton + Johnny Depp + Helena Bonham Carter = Epically Awesome.

+50 awesome points (which is a lot of awesome points) for it being a musical.

I watched Edward Scissorhands today for the first time.  It was so sad!

Lily is doing NaNoWriMo as well, and I think we're having a race, but I'm not sure... I hope not, because Lily is an amazing writer, and I have a tendency to exctreme writers block.  That's how I failed last year.

I need to go finish outlining at least the first few chapters and probably come up with a character sketch for the main characters... And research sociopathy. The male main character is a sociopath in rehab for suicide, so I should figure out how he's suposed act.  I suppose he'll tell me sometime, though... Anyway, only one hour and 10 minutes left! EEEEEP I'm so excited!!! I think this is proof of my saninty.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! And happy Nanoing to anyone doing it out there!

Faith.

Forrest Gump was wrong. Life isn't like a box of chololates; it's like a standardized exam. People expect you to know everything about something you know nothing about, yet when it comes to something simple, such as writing your name, you are treated like an idiot who knows nothing.

PSATs were today, thus the inspiration for this post.

He paints the morning sky with miracles in mind.

So um.. apparently some of my friends read my blog...  Hi guys!

This weekend was fun and full of philosophical thoughts.  (Sort of...)

We went to Inner Harbor in Baltimore and toured the USS Constitution and the USS Torsk. 

On the way home we saw the most AMAZING sunset I have ever seen.  And it got me thinking...


You know who the most amazing artist in the world is?  It's not Van Gogh, Monet, or Degas. It's God.  There's a song that I LOVE that I thought of on the drive home... "You paint the morning sky/ with miracles in mind." It's so true- God paints the sky, and when you see it you can't help but think of miracles.  In fact, it's a miracle that we're even here!  How can someone look at a sunset and think that this is all an accident?  I really don't get it.

Anyway.

Today was youth Sunday at my church, so I had to play my flute and sing.  Then I went to my friend Michelle's birthday party. It was fun! Other than that nothing much else happened this weekend...

How was your weekend?

I'm going home, to a place where I belong.

Junior year sucks.

Just sayin'.

But really, there's so much work! And then there's PSATs, SATs, College, AP classes, UGH!  The first week of school people were asking me where I wanted to go to college.

But before I start to complain more, homecoming was last year! My school was sacriligious this year and had...

DANCING!!! Oh em gee.

It was actually fun this year, unlike last year, which was kinda lame.

So this is basically a random post.  I did have a point, but I forgot...

RIGHT! So homecoming had a lot of rap.  For those of you who don't know, I listen to metal.  I DO NOT LIKE RAP.  Lily, a Sophmore named Taylor, and I requested a bunch of AWESOME songs that never got played.  Sucky.  We requested:

Reptar, King of the Ozone by The Devil Wears Prada, I'm So Sick, Cassie, and Red Sam by Flyleaf, Taylor requested an Underoath song, but I dont know which one.  We also requested We Will Rock You by Queen which did get played.

I think it's time for some Queen.



Funny story: (At least to me) 
The DJ played Soulja boy.  As soon as Lily and I heard "OOOOH! Soulja boy... "  We screamed an ran out of the room and stayed in the bathroom for the remainder of the song.  When we came back, they were playing Metallica! It was pretty awesome.  Then they played Shake It.  I love that song.

Anyway... That was my weekend...

So.... It's been a while since I've blogged.  

The organization that I went to Ukraine this past summer has an alumni only invitational leadership team, and I was invited to go on that trip!  So, hopefully this summer I will spend 9 weeks in Israel and Eastern Europe! I'm so excited!!!

Last Friday Lily, Lena, two other girls, and I saw 9 and looked at homecoming dresses.  While we didn't actually get dresses, I did get two tee shirts from Pac Sun.  The movie was... ish.  I enjoyed it and I was entertained, but it wasn't the best movie in the Universe.

ummm... yea... I don't really know what else to post...

bye!

Hi! School. (Just pray, please.)

So the past few days have been bittersweet.  I've had ups and downs, I've been hurt, I've had fun,  I've had struggles with personal issues, I've had victories.  

Thursday and Friday my school had our High School retreat. Thursday night we had the opportunity to get braclets that say "be strong, be bold" on them, to remind ourselves and each other accountable.  We had to ask a friend to put them on us, so they would hold us accountable.  Of course, I asked my friend (I don't want to say her real name. She'll be Zoe for now.) to put on mine, and she handed me hers and said she had to talk to me later.

The past year or so I've had some friendship troubles with two of my friends.  (We'll call them Zoe and Amy.)  I constantly felt left out and ignored, especially by Amy.  There's more to that story, but not that I want to put on the internet.

Zoe explained a lot of what happened, and told me some other things that were hard to hear.  It was good though, because now I understand her better and she can be more honest with me.  But it was still scary and hard to hear.

Lately I've been feeling depressed for no reason and I've really had to force myself to do things.  It's been hard being away from my Ukraine family and I just want to feel whole again.  You know how when you're really hurt or upset there seems to be an emptiness inside you?  Well, I've felt like that for a long time.  When I was in Ukraine, I didn't feel that- I felt complete.  And I just want to feel like that again.

Saturday, my mom had a bit of a meltdown.  She has depression, and it's hard to deal with sometimes.  Saturday and Monday were hard for her and as a result hard for dad and I.

Monday, however, was great! We went to Hershey park with Lily and a chinese exchange student named Michelle!  I had a lot of fun and rode a lot of roller coasters.  It was good, I needed fun. 

I really do think I have depression, though.  I get upset for no reason and over the littlest things.  I find that a lot of times I have to push myself to get anything accomplished- I just want to stay in my room with my lights off  crying or moping or sleeping.    Monday Lena, Lily, and Michelle all got caricature sketches, and I didn't because we didn't have time- I almost started crying and got really mad at my dad. Over a caricature sketch!  I took a test online (an actual legit test on a medical website, not just a stupid facebook quiz), and it said I have mild depression. 

I'm also struggling with self image and eating disorders.  I don't have one, but sometimes after eating dinner and sometimes even lunch, I just want to throw up.  My appetite fluctuates- sometimes I eat a lot and sometimes I'm not even hungry.  Occasionally, I don't even want to eat.

I don't know.  I'm just worried and scared and all in all, it wasn't the best weekend ever.  (Except for yesterday.  That was fun.  But today... not so great.)

My cat thinks my bed is her bed.

Random post title... I was trying to think of one and my cat jumps on my bed and stretches out like its hers.  Oh, the diva. 

Sooo... I changed my blog title... I like this one better because a) I'm a bit of a linguistics nerd, (I'm one of 5 Spanish three students this year and plan to take Spanish 4 next year PLUS Russian at a local college and I'm actually upset that my school won't offer AP Spanish until after I graduate) b) I like how poetic it sounds, and c) It fits me better now- I've realised a lot of my posts centre around me trying to figure out stuff. (because that's so poetic...)
 
In other news, school is OK, I guess.  We have a bunch of new rules that I think are kind of dumb, like if we miss more than 10 classes a year we cant pass the class we missed unless we have a valid reason, and family trips aren't a valid reason.  I'm a bit pissed at this because of reasons previously explained. (Please take a moment to read this post if not done so... I don't feel like re- explaining myself.)   So going down to AZ is going to give me 6 days of already if we want to be there the day before the wedding, which will probably happen because my mom is reading scripture at the wedding and therefore we'll probably need to be there for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.  If my aunts wedding and my grandmothers 70th birthday aren't valid reasons, I don't know what is other than Cholera or some other terminal illness.  Never have I been so thankful to have a doctor dad and a nurse mom- I never missed school for sickness unless I was throwing up or worse... 

Little Faith: Mom... I don't feel good....

Mom:  Here's an alive, now get ready for school and talk to me if you still feel sick later. 

It's things like those that strengthened my immune system, and now I rarely get sick!  (Although I do get migraines occasionally, which kinda suck.)

Ohh... I might have to wait more to get my wisdom teeth out... I like that... (Just so, you know, I don't miss more than 10 days of class while in horrendous pain from major dental surgery and can graduate on time.  [ my wisdom teeth haven't developed roots or started coming it yet, but they're compacting my front teeth, so my orthodontist said that I would have to get them out at the end of the summer weather they've come in or not, but I was in Ukraine this summer, so I didn't get them out, so I don't know when I'll get them out... whoa, run- on sentence!])

Anyway, I still have to finish my online health course, so I'll go work on that now... Oh crap, I have to pack my lunch still! 

Adios!

Days left of school: 178

Health lessons left:3